S9 Episode 9: Hot Mics are Notorious
This is a show about daughters being wiser than their mothers. And about other mothers being able to leave their Chanel around the house. And also, Tins making out.
But then, just when it gets deep, and you think it's really all about who fondled Tom and when, we get a hot mic.
Hot mics are notorious. The list of people, who have mic'd and forget, is long and impressive. Bush Jr. called New York Times' Adam Klymer a "major league ***hole." Obama said "jackass" when someone mentioned Kanye West. Our dear President Trump had that little thing about pussies with Billy Bush.
Hot mics can cause trouble. Remember, for instance, St. Bart's, Season Six ... you know, Luann? Remember when she whispered on the phone in French about her pirate lover, to get her French and American stories straight so her rest-of-the-time boyfriend wouldn't find out?
Yeah. She remembers it, too. She had a mic. It was on. We're all mic'd, all the time, they're always on. It's this little thing they kind of discreetly weave into our LBDs, then off we go. It doesn't make a habit of reminding us it's there. And it's easy to forget when no cameras are directly in sight.
So at the end of this episode you heard a conversation between me and a very nice woman named Barbara K., yawn and you'll miss it.
I met her a few years ago, through Luann, they've been friends for decades. I liked her immediately - she's ballsy, brassy, sexy, smart, and sweet. Oh, and fun. If she's your friend, you're set. She tells you like it is, loves you, and then still loves you no matter what exactly "it" is. She's the best kind of friend to have.
We both attended Dorinda’s charity event for Beauty for Freedom. Barbara has a huge contracting company (think Donald Trump, but self-made and successful, with killer cleavage.) She also has a side company called DIYVA and she donated her chic Ultimate DIYVA Tool Kits to the silent auction.
She's the girl in the hard hat who can demo a building, and run the show - and she is loyal down to her smooth and sanded 2x4s with her friends.
At the end of the event, after frenzied bidding and maybe a little frenzied booze, Barbara and I found ourselves in a corner comparing our Christmas plans. No cameras, we'd finished filming for the night. (Or so I thought.) But I still had a mic on so some of our conversation was recorded. No secret recording. Just one hot mic. If you read Page 6 you'd think we announced the nuclear codes.
We didn't. I told her I was going to Aspen, she said she was spending time with family in Florida, then going to "the wedding." We talked for less than two minutes, Barbara expressed concern about her good friend's nuptials. It wasn't unfounded concern. Most of Luann's friends were concerned. Very concerned (go back six scenes, to watch Ramona concerning away with Kathleen and Missy). Luann is lucky to have a friend like Barbara who knows a hell of a lot more than she'll ever tell. Trust me.
So let's recap: Avery's wiser than her mother, Dorinda likes some free space, Tins is a hot French-kisser and Bethenny sometimes cries.
That's kind of it.
Unless you read Page 6. Then, well...you gotta wonder a little.